Thursday, October 1, 2009

Grieving process on death

On the death of a very close loved one, an individual may go through many or all of the following stages in sequence:

Stages of the grieving process:

  • Shock and numbness
  • Outburst: “How dare you tell me he is no more …?”
  • Denial – "It can't be true!"
  • Disorganized – “what’s happening, I feel lost”
  • Fear – "I'm scared. Will others also die?"
  • Anger – "I don't want anyone, I hate you all"
  • Blame – "Who is responsible?
  • Shame or guilt – "I am a bad child, so he went away"
  • Pining or longing – "I want him back"
  • Bargaining -- living in fantasy “maybe a miracle will take place”
  • Despair, hopelessness, no future – even loneliness
  • Euphoria – “Now I can do what I want, I want to fly …”
  • Anxiety about losing control of life – "Who will take care of me?"
  • Depression – Losing motivation, interest and involvement in life
  • Loss of Self Esteem – "I am good for nothing, I'm useless"
  • Apathy – "I don’t care what happens"
  • Acceptance – “It is reality, I cannot change it”
  • Rebuilding & trying to move on in life – “Let me try and go forward”


    1. Distraction for immediate relief, enjoyable activities
  1. Keeping up daily routine -- Official, Family, Personal, Social
  2. God or spirituality or meaning of life – reading, rituals, group prayers
  3. Identifying the setback, reliving the tragedy -- What happened, how it effected me
  4. Tackling with ongoing problems, or expected ones (at practical level)
  5. Feelings NOW – awareness of feelings very important. Can I accept my feelings?
  6. Reaching out to another in similar grief. Your close relationships & your responsibility to them
  7. Is there a long term solution? Can I wait?
  8. The worst and most painful tragedies can be overcome with sustained efforts. The struggle is long, even painful, but it will give results.

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